Makyam had passed away yesterday morning. Her cancer had spread to her brain and i was on my way to work when i heard the news. when i saw my friend's id appeared at the mobile screen, i knew it's her.

just last saturday we went to visit her at alor setar. seeing her, fragile, helpless, in pain, semi-conscious, was painful to me. there's a lot of things i wanna tell her, yet i was speechless, clueless and beyond words. i was desperately hoping that she cud hear everything that i wanna say. the signs were all there. it wont be long before her body rejected all the medical support. wires were everywhere, she was given soy to substitute the meals, there were a few machines, depicting lines and figures which i dun know what.

there was a moment when the nurse injected some medicine into her, and there was some dark red substance flowing thru the tube, from her nose to the small tub sat beside her. that, was the remnants of the cancer fluids still existed in her body.

one day after, she was shivering, in pain as the cancer attacked her brain. there was really noting that can be done. it's fatal.

and even knowing all these, i was still in shocked yesterday when i received the news. we went to visit her, paying the final respect, and love.

thankGOD, she was all natural, minus the pale of her lips, i would say that she's sleeping. and i know that she'll be happy there. she was a good-hearted wonderful person. there were so many friends attended her wake yesterday. the process only took a few hours before she was finally laid at the nearest graveyard.

as for us, life goes on.
it was a pain, thinking that she would not be here with us anymore.
but then, Allah loves her more.
and i know that she'll be happier there. most of all, she no longer suffering, her family no longer grieving.

it's a great lesson to me. how i always take it for granted, of my health, of people around me, of my beloved ones.

*sigh....